


Love Will Keep You Up All Night

by petrichornights



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-12
Updated: 2013-01-12
Packaged: 2017-11-25 03:57:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/634868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petrichornights/pseuds/petrichornights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack questions his life of love</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Will Keep You Up All Night

**Author's Note:**

> A one shot between Jack and Ianto. Don't own Torchwood, BBC does, etc etc.

“It hurt. It hurt a lot,”

He sat there at his desk, his head buried in his hands, deep within thought. His mind raced and he could feel his heart pounding as it once had before. The sort of beat that just kept drumming faster and faster until finally the rhythm would suddenly stop – and he could breathe again.

Love… such a simple process it was, yet no one on the planet could figure it out. It lifted his spirits, made him want to grow wings and fly as high as he could; only for them to taken away and his soul to come crashing down again. To comprehend it would take a lifetime of commitment – a promise he was not even sure he could make.

Jack swore he’d never fall in love again. Of course, he had his share and had been married before… actually more than once. It was the most beautiful thing in the world, but like anything else, too much of a good thing would start to backfire. There wasn’t a day in his never ending life he didn’t think about her… or him… or whoever was lost to the gripes of father time.

He didn’t want it to be that way with Ianto. Though he was young, his everyday adventures fresh and anew, Jack just could face that one day it would all end and he would be alone once more. For his own sanity, it could never be what he wanted it.

“Jack?” Ianto called his name again and Jack looked up, trying to regain focus. “Have you not been listening to a word I’ve said?”

Ianto sighed. There was just no way he could get through to the man sometimes. Stubborn and strong willed, being the traits he loved were the same ones that annoyed the living hell out of him. “Why did you have to do that? Why did you just give up on me, on _us_?”

“I told you, I don’t want to end up hurting you,” Jack replied, tired and wanting to be alone. He was getting to the point where enough was enough.

“You don’t want to hurt me,” Ianto repeated softly, putting his hands in his pockets. “You think leaving the team to go off on your own for that whole span of time without saying goodbye didn’t hurt me? You think the way you flirt endlessly with anything that moves doesn’t hurt me? Do you think this doesn’t hurt me, this whole conversation?”

“ _Love_ hurts, don’t you get it?” Jack slammed his hands onto the table. “I can’t live another millennia mourning over those who said they’d love me forever and it not being there when I need it most. I can’t think about feeling guilty every time I express my feelings to someone new. I can’t stay up another night crying – I can’t fall to the ground any harder.” Jack fell to his knees, his head hanging to hide the shameful tears that weren’t already noticeable.

Kneeling down, Ianto pulled the captain close to him. They stayed there for a moment in silence before Ianto brought his face to Jack’s. “If I can’t love you, I can’t live at all.”

Before he had a chance to protest, Ianto pressed his lips against his gently. Pulling him closer, Jack realized love was what kept him going all this time.


End file.
